Wake me up when it's all over

I have to say, I miss the days of Michael Phelps winning gold medals left and right because things have just snowballed. Back in early August, we were one nation of spectators engrossed in the spirit of competition that brought us pride in the athletes' hardwork, determination, and ability to overcome adversity. Back then, seemed like simpler times. Each day would end with a medal count, then we'd go to bed.

Today, my stomach aches with thoughts of my shrinking 401K and the many, many years of work I have ahead of me. And this very horrible and very possible scenario of me couch surfing or moving back to my parents. What's worse is those poor people that are currently in or so close to retirement. What a mess to be in during the twilight of their lives. So what better time to complain, than the present?

Ok, so where do I begin? I'll start with Me. I blame Me for buying a place at the height of the housing boom - probably paying too much - and getting an interest-only loan. [Note to self...throw more money at the principal]. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Next, Alan Greenspan. You were the one that bubbled that bubble!! Bad, baaad Alan!
Oh and W - well, I have an earful to blame you but I'll just give you Iraq for now. I don't know why I'm letting you off easy.
Then there's Greed on Wall Street, but I will let you off easy too because I think I was an enabler of you and you're probably debating the most painless ways to self end your life, perhaps? I suggest OD-ing on something.
American People - for calling up your congresspeople telling them to vote against the bailout during an election year. It's really the only time they'll pay attention. And, American People, I would just like to say right now, stay in school. The mind is a terrible thing to waste. Stop with these visceral voting strategies you have.
Pelosi - yup. You're getting blamed for an untimely, partisan speech made right before the vote. Bad, bad timing.
And last but not least, Elected Congresspeople - for not practicing the power of influence bestowed upon you. Yesterday would've been a good time to be wise and think of the good of the whole.

Ok - I shall stay tuned with this and hope I don't have to sell my dog on eBay. [How much do you think I can make off of him?]