I bonded with my smartphone on maternity leave and I feel gross about it

This is my last week of maternity leave and I'm afraid I bonded more with my phone than my baby. I mean, my baby is cute, but my phone interacts with me more.

It began with the fact that I spent the majority of my leave at my parents' home. They don't have cable tv and set up a nursery in their living room. Which meant every time I nursed or pumped, I stared into space. Thank God for my phone though. I could have my baby suck away at my boobs as I caught up on my Scramble with Friends or got sucked away on Facebook. This means about 8-12 times a days, I'd be interacting with my phone…err…I mean baby…but what really happened was I couldn't live without my phone!

My first two weeks post birth was especially bonding since my Mom mandated the Asian post birth recovery rules of ancient Asia lands of Confucian blah blah blah. Those rules that really work she says since they've been around for thousands of years. Things like, dress like an eskimo even though it's 75 degrees outside. Wait, actually don't go outside -- mom or baby. Eat seaweed soup a couple times a day. And pigs feet soup since pig's feet is readily available at the Korean supermarket. Wow, what a depressing time for me. I am literally walking around in a green fleece robe all day, my c-section incision still fresh (meaning every time I cough, my guts seem to move), my nipples are raw, and my hemorrhoids (well, need I say more…TMI there). So my only friend(s) is (are) my phone (and my husband who snuck me out of the house in the evening).

As I sat in the glider chair nursing my flesh and blood, I got of a glimpse of the outside world via Facebook. Ah, so-and-so photographed an attractive meal at a trendy restaurant -- exciting stuff! I don't see a trendy restaurant in my immediate future. Oh, and single lady friend is on her third beach vacation. Now, that will never happen again. And a funny animal video, random rants of anger or not so funny humor…ahhh so entertaining and meaningless. I love it! Oh, the baby is finally asleep on my lap. Give me a few more mins here with my phone.

Now that my baby is 4 months and almost 20 lbs., laughing, smiling and *almost* sleeping thru the night, I am feeling much more whole again but find myself with an unhealthy attachment to my phone. Example: I lay the baby down to play with him but place my phone next to his head so when I get bored with him, I can check email. I'd take a picture of this, but can't because I'd need my phone to take a photo of my phone. What's worse is the baby already hates the phone. When the baby starts laughing or smiling, I'll pick up my phone to capture a photo or video. Once it's flashed in front of him, his smile disappears. He already feels like a second child. Case in point:

I swear, he was smiling and laughing before I flashed the phone in front of him. Or this example of his physical reaction toward the phone:

So alas. It's possible my phone soothe me more over maternity than my baby did. Well, I know that that is true. In fact, I know it's true for many moms, given the sheer volume of photos and commentary on Facebook. With the end of unstructured days of pumping and nursing, tt's time for me to also cut the cord with the unhealthy relationship I secured with my phone over maternity. So long friend. Til we meet again…oh wait, Half Off Foot Massage on Living Social?